This week we
will continue the study of the Book of 2 Samuel in the Old Testament.
(1) Read 12:14 and also Psalm 51:4. Why did David say to the Lord that “Against you only have I sinned”?
(2) Although the Bible only records a one-sentence reply of David to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord” (12:13), a fuller confession of David is recorded in Psalm 51, likely made after Nathan had left and he was faced with the certainty of the death of his son. In order to appreciate the genuineness of his confession it might be helpful if you could pen a confession as if you were David and compare it to what and how he confessed through this psalm:
a. As much as David’s sin was grave and heinous, how may we learn from his confession?
b. What do you think about Nathan’s affirmation that “The Lord has taken away your sin” (12:13)?
(3) The sin was David’s. Why did the Lord strike his son dead instead?
(4) Although the death of his son had already been declared through Nathan (12:14), why did David still plead with God, lying on the ground and fasting (12:16)? Would you have done the same?
(5) The servants were greatly puzzled by David’s change in attitude after his son’s death:
a. What was David’s explanation?
b. What might we learn from him concerning the death of someone dear to us?
(6) On the one hand, the Lord struck dead the first son born to Bathsheba; on the other hand, He “loved” Solomon to the point that He gave him the name Jedidiah, meaning “loved by the Lord”:
a. Why?
b. What does it say about God’s forgiveness?
(7) Why did Joab send a rather rude message to David in the battle against the Ammonites (12:27-28)? How was David’s response different from that of 11:1?
(8) What is the main message to you today and how may you apply it to your life?
“Then David said to Nathan, ‘I have sinned against the Lord'.” (2 Sam. 12:13)
As we have already considered, the sins of David — that of adultery and of murder — were grave and heinous, and worse, they were premeditated. From a human level, one wonders how such sins could be forgiven! However, the way God forgave his sins highlights the following spiritual truths:
- All sins are first and foremost committed against God: As people created by God and in His image, every time we sin, we have fallen “short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). In other words, we have robbed God of His glory with our sin. However, Nathan has reminded us of another consequence of our sin and that is, we “have made the enemies of the Lord show utter contempt” (2 Sam. 12:14). Indeed, every time we sin, we have given Satan the opportunity to insult the name of the Lord (Job 1:9-11). Since sins are primarily committed against the Lord, forgiveness is only possible to be given by Him:
- Forgiveness means complete restoration of our relationship with God: Sin leads to death, both physical and spiritual (Rom. 5:12, 6:16, 23 etc.); the forgiveness of God ultimately means the restoration of the presence of His Spirit in our life which is eternal life. However, in the case of David, in God’s immense mercy, even his physical death, which would be the just penalty of his heinous sins of adultery and murder, was spared, likely as an affirmation of God’s restoration of His presence in answer to his prayer (Ps. 51:11).
- Forgiveness means that God’s love for us has not diminished a bit because of our sin: while the striking dead of the son of David who was born out of adultery seemed harsh, perhaps it was necessary for God to demonstrate to all Israel that He did not play favorites — we all know that there is hardly a greater punishment than seeing our own children suffer because of our sins. However, God was quick to demonstrate not only that his forgiveness was complete, but also that He continued to love David as He took the initiative to name Solomon, Jedidiah which means “loved by the Lord” (2 Sam. 12:25). I do not know about you, upon reading this naming of Solomon, I feel like falling on my knees to worship God. I believe David did!
(1) Read Leviticus 20:17 to get a sense of the gravity of the sin of Ammon.
(2) Even though Ammon might be greatly attracted by the beauty of Tamar, what should he have done?
(3) Could Ammon blame his cousin, Jonadab, for his action? Why or why not? (1 Cor. 15:33)
(4) What was the request made by Ammon to David?
a. Should it not seem odd to David?
b. Do you think David had any inkling about what was going on?
c. What does David’s compliance with Ammon's request say about David? (Ammon was his first-born!)
(5) Since Ammon had time to plan his action, do you think he had thought of the consequence of his action?
(6) The Bible says after the rape, Ammon “hated her more than he had loved her” (13:15):
a. What kind of love did he have for Tamar?
b. Was it love or lust?
(7) The more literal translation of v. 18 reads, “She (Tamar) wore a long dress with sleeves" (K&D, 636). What does this additional description in the Bible seek to highlight?
(8) Why did Absalom tell her sister to be quiet for now? What kind of a person does this reveal about him?
(9) The Hebrew Bible says King David was furious and the LXX (Greek version of the OT) adds, “He did not trouble the spirit of Ammon his son, because he loved him, for he was his first-born”:
a. What should David have done according to Leviticus 20:17?
b. What message was he sending to his children?
c. Do you think his own sin with Bathsheba had anything to do with his inaction? Why or why not?
(10) What is the main message to you today and how may you apply it to your life?
“When David heard of all this, he was furious.” (2 Sam. 13:21)
It is true that we are all answerable to our own actions (Jeremiah 31:30), and the children’s teeth should not be set on edge simply because “The parents have eaten sour grapes” (Jer. 31:29). However, the actions and examples, especially bad ones, set by parents do have great influence on their children. David was a case in point.
He led a life that lacked discipline and control when it came to lust. It was true that he possessed many fine spiritual qualities — his humility towards King Saul, his loyal friendship with Jonathan and his steadfast dependence on the Lord — all these were indisputable. But just as indisputable was his yielding to lust, seen by all his children in the having of many wives.
The many wives and children also meant that he would not have the time to teach and discipline his children individually, let alone allowing them to know him. The bringing up of the children was likely left to the mothers, some of whom were pagans!
Of course, his sins of adultery and murder had effectively robbed him of the qualification to lead and govern his household. That was clearly demonstrated in his treatment of Ammon upon the raping of his stepsister. Sure, Leviticus 20:17 has clearly condemned such a crime and demanded death as its penalty, but who could condemn Ammon and pronounce the judgment! Not David! All Ammon had to say was, “What about you, Dad?”
Therefore, even without the punishment from God (12:11), David’s household was a tragedy in the making.
(1) How long did Absalom wait for his revenge?
(2) When King David declined the invitation and Absalom specifically asked for Ammon to come together with the rest of the king’s sons, should it not flag David about his possible plot? Why would David give his blessing?
(3) One commentator remarks that “the postponement of revenge…is quite in the spirit of the East” (K&D, 637). Do you agree? Why or why not?
(4) Why was Jonadab so sure that only Ammon was dead? (v. 32)
(5) Since he was the one who counseled Ammon to rape Tamar (like a friend), should he not warn Ammon in advance? What kind of a person was Jonadab?
(6) Why did Absalom choose to flee to Talmai? (See 3:3)
(7) As David mourned for Ammon every day, do you think it was just the kind of mourning of a father over the death of son? Would it not be mourning mixed with guilt? Why or why not?
(8) Should he blame Absalom? Why or why not?
(9) What should he do with Absalom? What did David do (if anything)?
(10) What is the main message to you today and how can you apply it to your life?
“But King David mourned for his son every day.” (2 Sam. 13:37)
After his adultery with Bathsheba, the Bible makes it clear that it was the Lord who struck this son, born out of adultery, dead. Before the death of this child, King David went through seven days of desperate, heart-wrenching time of pleading before the Lord — fasting and lying on the ground. One can imagine the amount of guilt that was weighing down on him as he prayed, feeling the full weight of his sin! However, once the child was dead, he appeared to have stopped grieving because he realized, in his own words, “I will go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Sam. 12:23).
However, it was a completely different case with the death of Ammon, his first-born, because Ammon was not so much struck by the Lord directly, but by his other son, Absalom, and it was nonetheless also a result of his sins — the sin of his own adulterous example and his inaction toward the grave sin of rape and incest by Ammon. As a father and a king, he should have dealt with Ammon according to the Law of Moses. Yes, that would mean the loss of a son, but he would have maintained and demonstrated justice not only in his household, but to his nation. As it turned out, now he had to mourn the loss of two sons — Ammon who died and Absalom who fled! His mourning was no doubt mixed with guilt — the guilt of watching and allowing his mistakes to compound!
As much as David did receive complete forgiveness from the Lord, his sins had only perpetuated the further exploitation of his weaknesses. Indeed, there are mistakes in life that we simply cannot afford to make in the first place!
(1) What might be the motive for Joab to try to bring about the reconciliation of David and Absalom? (14:1)
(2) Since David’s heart longed for Absalom, what might be preventing him from approaching Absalom? (14:24)
(3) In her attempt to help the king see his folly, what was the crux of the story invented by the woman (as instructed by Joab)? (See vv. 5-7) What was its relevance to Absalom’s situation?
(4) In v. 9, the woman essentially was saying that if the people of her clan did not listen to the king and went ahead and killed her son, she would not blame the king. However, as King David assured her that he would definitely make sure his decree would be obeyed, she asked him to swear before the Lord and David did (v. 11):
a. Why did she charge that King David’s continuous rejection of Absalom was devised against the people of God? (v. 13)
b. How did David’s decree in favor of her son serve to convict himself?
c. To what did she also appeal to in trying to convince King David in v. 14?
(5) As much as she tried to make her case sound real again (in vv. 15-17), King David knew it was a made-up story, but how did he know that Joab had a hand in it? (v. 19)
(6) What does this say of the relationship between Joab and David?
(7) What does this say about Joab as the right-hand man of King David?
(8) What is the main message to you today and how may you apply it to your life?
“Joab son of Zeruiah knew that the king’s heart longed for Absalom.” (2 Sam. 14:1)
We have read the ruthless, cold-blooded killing of Abner by Joab and that he was publicly condemned by David (3:22-29). We have also learned that Joab and his brother Abishai were so powerful that David was afraid of them (3:39). However, we now see a different side to the character of this warrior Joab.
Commentators tend to doubt Joab’s motive in his effort to reconcile David with Absalom, thinking that he might be preparing himself to maintain his power beyond the reign of David, as “Absalom had the best prospect” to be the heir to the throne (K&D, 640). And Joab had certainly continued with his ruthless character the rest of his life, but the Bible makes it clear that the motive of reconciling Absalom to David was genuine:
a. For one, he knew the heart of David in that “the king’s heart longed for Absalom” (14:1).
b. If he had any desire to betray David, he would only wish to see David’s alienated by his son.
I suspect that as he followed David all these years, he had witnessed how David treated Saul with kindness, and as much as he also saw the flaws of David, he did gain tremendous respect for David as a godly king and had grown in his genuine concern and loyalty for David. He was the one who tried to prevent David from sinning against the Lord with the counting of his troop (24:3).
This reminds me of my tendency to find fault with people I serve with. The truth of the matter is we are all flawed human beings, seriously flawed in many ways. But often, God uses other flawed brothers and sisters to point out our own mistake. And thus, as iron sharpens iron (Prov. 27:17), and as we humble ourselves to listen to one another, we can be molded into useful instruments to accomplish the business of His kingdom.
(1) Joab was doing the king a favor and yet he had to thank David for listening to him. Shouldn’t David be thanking him? Why didn’t he?
(2) It was obvious that King David “longed for Absalom” (14:1) and now Absalom was back, why did David refuse to see Absalom?
a. Was it a matter of face?
- As a king
- As a father
b. Was it a matter of anger?
c. Was it real reconciliation?
(3) What was the purpose of the insertion in vv. 25-27?
a. What might Israel think of Absalom?
b. What might Absalom think of himself?
c. Why were the names of his sons not mentioned, but only his daughter?
(4) Why was Joab reluctant to see Absalom?
(5) How did Absalom feel during the years after his return to Jerusalem?
(6) What did he want from his father?
(7) How was he finally received by his father?
(8) Why didn’t David do it earlier?
(9) Do you think it was too late?
(10) What is the main message to you today and how may you apply it to your life?
“But the king said, ‘He must go to his own house; he must not see my face’.” (2 Sam. 14:24)
We have already considered how God had completely forgiven David of his grave and heinous sins, and God’s forgiveness was so complete that even David’s second son born of Bathsheba was loved by God and was given a name by God Himself to affirm his love not just of the son, but of the father (12:25). Indeed, David himself fully realized how complete this forgiveness was and so he wrote, “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Ps. 103:11-12). And yet, when it came to forgiving the sin of his own son, Absalom, David had a hard time doing what God did to him.
Indeed, to forgive and especially as God does according the Psalm 103 is hard. Peter found it hard too (Matt. 18:21). But for David, I suspect apart from his love for Ammon, his first-born, there was an innate feeling of authority that an Oriental father appears to command, and to totally forgive Absalom somehow, in his opinion, undermined his authority as a father. Somehow, in the Oriental custom, for a father to give partial forgiveness is only appropriate, lest a complete forgiveness breeds contempt.
Such a mentality appears to still be prevalent among Asian fathers and I have come across quite a few cases even among Christians. The only problem is that Jesus makes it clear to all of us, including fathers: “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt. 6:15).
If our Heavenly Father has completely forgiven wayward children like us, what right do we have not to completely forgive our wayward children!
(1) Do you think Absalom’s intention was to position himself to succeed David or to overthrow his father?
(2) Had David been quick to forgive and embrace him back as his son, would this have happened? Why or why not?
(3) Do you think what Absalom did in vv. 1-6 could totally evade the knowledge of David?
a. If for four years, David knew nothing about what he did, what does it say about David as a king?
b. If David knew about it and did nothing about it, what does it say about David as a father and a king?
(4) How can one explain the success of Absalom in apparently having support “throughout the tribes of Israel” and why would these people support him against David?
a. Were they dissatisfied with David?
b. Did they consider Absalom a much better king? If so, why?
(5) As much as “the hearts of the men of Israel are with Absalom” (15:13), did David have to flee?
a. Why could he not fight against Absalom from the citadels of Jerusalem?
b. Did he enquire of the Lord?
c. Had God relinquished His choice of David as king over Israel? (See 7:15)
(6) In your opinion, how did David look upon the rebellion of his son? What kind of struggle might he be going through?
(7) Why does the Bible make mention of the decision of the Gittites to follow David? What did this mean to David at a time like this?
(8) What is the main message to you today and how may you apply it to your life?
“Come we must flee, or none of us will escape from Absalom.” (2 Sam. 15:14)
One might consider David weak in his dealing with the rebellion of Absalom, but it actually demonstrates the part of David’s character that was rare as a king and a warrior: He was determined not to fight to cling to his power by his own strength and wisdom. This was not something new; David fully demonstrated his total dependence on God in assuming his reign even during the time of Saul. If he would not lay his hand on Saul, how much less on his son, Absalom!
I suspect that he also knew that Absalom’s rebellion was not an accident, it was part of the judgment of God pronounced by Nathan: “Out of your own household, I am going to bring calamity upon you” (12:11). Although he had no idea that by leaving his ten concubines behind, he helped to fulfill the other part of the judgment — “Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. You did in secret but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel" (12:11-12). This was fulfilled by Absalom lying “with his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel” (16:22).
One has to pity David as he silently received his judgment from the hand of God in obedience, without complaint and without fighting against it. To me, that is a mark of a man after God’s own heart!
(1) It appears the whole procession did not resemble the normal fleeing from a war, but a funeral procession:
a. Why did the “whole countryside” weep aloud?
b. Why did David continue up the Mount of Olives weeping?
c. Why did “All the people with him” cover their heads and weep too?
(2) It was even more unusual that the “fleeing” was accompanied by the offering of sacrifices by the priest, Abiathar. What did such an offering represent?
(3) From the words spoken by David to Zadok in vv. 25-26:
a. How did David look upon Absalom’s rebellion?
b. What does the decision of leaving the Ark behind in Jerusalem say about David? (Contrast his decision with that of the elders in 1 Sam. 4:3.)
(4) Upon learning that his trusted adviser Ahithophel had betrayed him, what did David do? Do you think God would answer his prayer? (Some commentators think that Ahithophel was the grandfather of Bathsheba.)
(5) Hushai appeared to be an old man who would be “a burden” to David had he followed. What role did David ask him to play? How effective was he? (See 17:14)
(6) As much as Absalom appeared to have “the hearts of the men of Israel”, David had many friends who were loyal to him — the priests were behind him, the ark of the covenant was with him, and he still had a sizeable army (see chapter 18). Do you think his decision to flee was (a) prudent, (b) fair to the nation, or (c) pleasing to the Lord? Why or why not?
(7) What is the main message to you today and how may you apply it to your life?
“The whole countryside wept aloud as all the people passed by.” (2 Sam. 15:23)
I was deeply touched by the loyalty shown to David as he fled Jerusalem because of the rebellion of his son, Absalom.
The Bible appears to mention the loyalty of the Gittites at this very sorrowful time of David. These Gittites were most likely Philistines who followed David from the city of Gath, or at least residents of Gath. If they were Philistines, it was even more special in that they now swore allegiance in the name of the Lord. Their loyalty was for both the Lord and David.
Then there was the loyalty of Hushai who was an old friend of David (15:37) and a trusted adviser too. His willingness to risk his life by staying in Jerusalem eventually led to the defeat of Absalom. The old adage is true, “A man in need is a friend indeed”.
However, I was even moved more deeply by the weeping of all the people in the countryside (of Jerusalem) and the weeping of the men who followed David to the Mount of Olives. While we might dissect the matter on whether or not the fleeing of David was a sign of weakness, the right course of action and whether it was fair to the nation, we found that no one, not a soul gave advice to David. All they did was to weep with him! How precious it was!
David knew deep in his heart, whatever happened was the judgment from the hand of God; he really needed no advice from anyone. All he needed was empathy from those who loved him and that he got from not only those who fled with him, but also those who stayed behind.
There are times too in our lives that we do not necessarily have to give advice to our brothers and sisters in grief, all we need to do is to “mourn with those who mourn” (Rom. 12:15).